May 31, 2010

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This morning was a hard one to wake up. I had spend the night at my boyfriend's house and he woke up to go to work around 7am. He said he said goodbye to me this morning, but i do not remember that. When i wake up I'm almost like a zombie. We had a party the night before, so that was part of the reason for my zombie like nature. My friend DJ woke me up at 9:30 to drive him home.. But it turns out that he didn't need to go home until later, so i went back to sleep. I ended up waking up for good at 2pm.

I woke up to my boyfriend (tyler) and Angelo playing Guitar Hero and DJ snoring on the couch. We went to taco bell, where DJ bought us all tacos. =] The guys went back to work at 4ish.. I finally left Tyler's house around 8:30. I got home around 9:45.. I have spend the night watching T.V with my mother, playing around on the computer, and writing.

Writing is my number one passion. I may not be too good at short stories but i'm pretty good at poetry.. And i love to write poetry. Poetry can bring me to life and make me feel feelings that i never thought i could feel. ("feel" seems to be used alot in the previous sentence... ehh.. oh well.. fuck it.)

My home life has been better, but it's getting easier and easier as the days go on. Friendships seem to be falling apart a bit. I have been in the wrong with that, i guess. My "love" life is good. Tyler is a really good guy and i spend most of my time with him because that's where i feel the happiest. (cheesy, i know, but get over it). My life can be crazy, stressful, obnoxious, and great. I love the ride though.

School is out and i couldn't be happier about that. The end of the year is always stressful because of finals. I only had three finals this year though (religion, statistics, and english). I graduated on May 29th, 2010. My family was there to support me, as usual. The only sad part about my graduation was that my biological father wasn't there.

Life is good.

After Graduation Feelings..

"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change."

High school is over. Its not easy to explain how I feel about it. Sure, I'm excited not to get up at 6:00 a.m. anymore... I'm not too happy about not seeing everyone everyday like I used to.. I've always heard from my parents "take school seriously, education is forever, friends are not always going to be there". I beg to differ. It may seem a bit irrational to think I'm going to stay in contact with the people I've known in high school. It may seem stupid to think that i'm always going to stay close to these people. The people I've met in my school years are the people who made me who i am.. And i like who i am. There are certain people i will never forget.. I didn't learn too much in high school, but i learned a few important things.

• You know who your friends are in the bad times.
• Don't trust everyone.
• Gossip can get you into big trouble.
• Don't waste time.
• Don't ever stop loving the people who love you.
• Plan ahead.
• Never, NEVER take your friends for granted..
  
• Sometimes it's a good thing to be invisible.
• Inside jokes are always the best jokes.
• Hug the people you love and make them feel loved.
• High school goes by way to fast.

..........Those are just a few things that come to mind when i think of things i should have done differently in high school. High School was scary at first.. but at the end is when i had the most fun. I've learned to forgive and forget, to love and be loved, to be as loud as you possibly can.. even if it gets you into trouble..

There are always those people who will be there for you. You just have to find out who those people are and never let them go.

Trust me.